Hanging out with President Obama Tonight – Minute by Minute Repartee

Obama’s Speech

7:49 PM – FoxNews is flipped on, I seat myself on my couch and brace myself for the State of the Nation according to Barack Obama (who will often be hereafter referred to as The Child) Brit Hume is here and that guy is delightful…

7:50 – John Kerry is here… how did that guy ever get nominated for president? Howard dean would have been so much more enjoyable.

7:59 – Nancy Pelosi and Joe Biden kicking it on the top tier of our governmental life. Oh the glee.

8:03 – The Fox anchor dude just spoke of senators retrieving The Child… like he was some sort of baggage.

8:05 – Nope, that pink creature is not the Pink Panther… that is Hillary Rodham Clinton… holy biscuits she is the Secretary of State… that is inspiring… no, no it’s not.

8:07 – Rahm Emmanuel walking in… that guy is super mean. He does look like he could kill pleasant small animals if necessary.

8:09 – Boy that Pelosi varmint look conniving… even when she’s smiling…

8:10 – The Child has entered the building… nice tie.

8:11 – DENNIS KUCINICH is here! He once claimed he was abducted by aliens!

8:12 – One of the congressmen looks like Billy Bob Thornton… wasn’t he actually married to Angelina Jolie for a while? How on earth did he swing that?!

8:13 – Barrack just kissed Hillary… so much liberalism in one lip lock.

8:15 – And he speaks… and the heavens open… not yet?

Ok… He’s doing well so far… people are sustaining the applause over his entrance…

…an awkward moment where Pelosi and The Child weren’t quite sure who was supposed to say what… she got it right it appears… more applause

8:17 – Shout out to his wife… nice move.

8:19 – WE ARE GOING TO RECOVER FROM THE RECESSION! He just said so! Yes!

8:20 – We are now going to look back… without looking… backwards.

8:21 – I think something is wrong with his teleprompter… he just maid that tremulous hiccuping sound he does when he’s not quite sure what to say next.

“The surplus became an opportunity to transfer wealth instead of helping the people that need it”

Republicans weren’t pleased with that line.

Karl Marx would have been.

8:22 – I DON’T BELIEVE IN BIGGER GOVERNMENT. Whaaaa?!

8:23 – John Kerry looks like he’s chewing on some kind of peanut product.

8:24 – I love the camera shot after his line aboot the stimulus… the right sits silently… the left goes fiesta.

8:25 – John McCain sighting!

8:25 – Oh my… a little affectionate moment between The Child and his vice. Apparently Biden will oversee the spending of his boss’ bill. An objective team. That’s change you can hope for.

8:29 – He is now speaking in outline format. Each point corresponds to a new loan. Weeeee.

8:30 – JOE LIEBERMAN! Hanging Chad.

8:30 – CEO’s as whipping boys / punching bag.

8:32 – He’s speaking really fast… I think he might actually be nervous… or maybe the Teleprompter is moving too fast.

8:32 – George Bush as punching bag… we’re not looking back baby.

8:33 – It’s disheartening to see this many happy Democrats in one place… leading the country… *softly weeping*

Pelosi is glowing like a prom queen. She keeps leaping up every time a pet project is mentioned. Which thus far has been about ever 30 seconds.

8:34 – I think he just promised to end recessions forever! WOW!

8:37 – “I reject those who say our government has no role in laying the groundwork for our success.”

Bam… this sentence is important.

Also, ‘It is time for America to lead again’. Because we haven’t been for the past eight years?

8:40 – I am going to build power lines to save money on electricity? I am going to defeat global warming!

Oh my dear goodness look at the way these people fawn over him! This is frightening!!!

8:41 – ‘I am going to build cars. Ones that run on weeds, oranges, and water.

8:43 – I actually think Nancy Pelosi might be drunk. It’s really spooky the way she’s just leaping out of her chair and waving around.

AHA… We knew it was coming didn’t we… he is going to find the cure for cancer!!!

8:44 – We will spend more money on preventative care… to save money?!

8:46 – I think Joe Biden is texting.

8:47 – He just said he’s sent 7,000,000 more kids to college?!

In 30 days?!!! Maybe Al Gore really DID invent the internet!!!

Everything seems possible now!

8:50 – I actually agree with what he just said. That makes about… once so far .

THE REPUBLICANS JUST STAGED A SARCASTIC CLAP FEST!

Then Obama made various comments that dissed Bush.

THEN HE CLAIMED HIS STIMULUS DIDN’T HAVE ANY EARMARKS!

Then the Republicans actually booed him!

DRAMA! Who needs the Oscars!

8:53 – ‘I hate corporations.

8:54 – ‘I won the Cold War… ok not really, he didn’t say that… I’m getting carried away.

8:55 – He’s campaigning. I just realized this. This man is running for a second term right now.

8:57 – I will end the war in Iraq… by leaving when Bush planned to leave.

I will stop Al Qaeda by vigorous diplomacy

8:59 – More marines, more soldiers, more benefits for vets… haven’t heard a spending cut yet have we?

9 pm – Slamming bush again.

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And now, the personal story segment…

*instrumental music*

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9:08 – Ends with a bang… the tearful cheers begin.

CONCLUSION – This man is an extraordinary politician and speaker. It isn’t that he doesn’t have an agenda beyond ‘hope’ and ‘change’. It’s that the agenda he does have is one that won’t work.

Britt Hume captured it well, “He has not yet begun to spend”.