A Note to Joe Mauer

Joe – Please stay.

Minnesota Twins – Do anything you have to. Even if it isn’t within reason. Keep this man.

joe mauer swing These words are the the cry of many hearts. The hearts of baseball fans and teenage girls (not that the two are mutually exclusive, but you hear what I’m saying) all across the Upper Midwest who haven nervously noted that, with one year left on Joe Mauer’s contract, this offseason seems be an awfully good time to secure this soft spoken catching wizard until approximately 2035.

We’ve seen positive reports. Joe seems to want to stay! He is, after all, the pride of Saint Paul and a Minnesotan from the tip of his toes to the brim of his catcher’s mask. BUT we fans are human beings. We have fears. What if the Twins frugality suddenly rears its head in an extreme form at the wrong time? What if Joe receives a call from some Darth Vader-esque Yankee official offering the lad 8 bazillion dollars, (or maybe Euros in consideration of the state of the dollar) some sort of anti-itch cream endorsement deal, and Kate Hudson?! WHAT THEN?!

It’s like FDR said: spend and spend until the recession is over. Wait… no… the other thing he said about fear. Why are we going to sit around being afraid that we might soon be Joe-less in Target Field. So what can we do? We can inform Joe that he is an empire and a jewel of the Upper Midwest. We can tell him that he’s a credit to our region and that our summers wouldn’t be the same without our ears taking in Gordon and Bremer lauding his exploits. We can let Joe know that we want him to stay.

Thus, I ask you to read the following letter to Joe. If these paragraphs begin to express your thoughts on Joe’s remaining in Minnesota, add your name (and any comments you have for Joe) just below the letter. On Monday, November 16th we’ll print the letter out and send it to Joe.

Dear Joe,

We hope this note finds you in good health & enjoying the opening of your off-season! Say, normally we wouldn’t be bothering you about contract negotiations (or anything else really, but especially that) when you’d probably prefer to be focusing on hanging out at your epic log cabin and… being Joe Mauer. But with this off-season’s likelihood that the Twins will offer you a contract extension, we just wanted to humbly let you know that we really hope you stay in Minnesota.

There’s no question that you’ve immeasurably strengthened the baseball revival in Minnesota that started just a couple campaigns before you arrived in the majors. Along with your pals, you’ve provided some epic moments for Twins’ fans these past seasons, particularly in the last month and change with your relentless rundown of the Motor City Kities on the seasons’ extra final day. Not to go all Emilio Estevez on you, but you’re the heart and soul of our team. And yes, you’ve got unbelievable stats, but it’s more than just the numbers man.

In an age when even the greatest players spend their careers bouncing from one team and city to another, you’ve been with the Twins’ since draft day. And we’ve been proud to have you. You’re not just from Saint Paul, man. You represent the very best of Saint Paul, Minnesota and the Upper Midwest. Your humility and work ethic are a credit to your family and community. We’re proud to call you our own, and truly hope that you stay with the Twins for this contract (and all the rest!).

Thanks for reading.

- Goose Nissley & ___________