2009 In Review

Goose Nissley – President Obama was definitely the big story this year (however slightly his lead is over balloon boy). How often does a guy buy General Motors, provide an entire nation with health care, win the Nobel Peace Prize, and appear on a promo for George Lopez Tonight… ALL IN ONE YEAR?!

Alex – Plus, he got the approval evangelicals via Rick Warren, Donald Miller and the always um, relevant, Relevant Magazine, all while letting the rest of the world know that we’re not a Christian nation. Win!

David Gregory – Obama ruled 2008, but 2009 is the year of Carrie Prejean. Who else can claim to have represented an entire voter base, committed actions to alienate it, and subsequently kept its support simply because of her heaving platforms? She is the epitome of the media world we live in: one sentence can make you, one sex tape can break you (or as I like to call this, the reverse Paris Hilton).

Alex – Whoa, easy, David. Goose considers Miss Prejean a shining example of moral excellence for her stance against gay marrige in the face of that great mental giant, Perez Hilton.

Goose – SAY IT AIN’T SO CARRIE! You really wanted to cheer for her / date her, especially since she was being lampooned by that unpleasant Hilton dude. There is no joy in Mudville tonight.

Well you know what else was interesting… Swi… Iii mean H1N1 flu. For months, everyone was told that we were all going to do die. Then, suddenly, absolutely nothing happened…

Alex- I actually had it twice and died twice.

David – Yeah, the Swine Flu was so media driven and ultimately unsuccessful, I thought the United States was going to elect it.

Alex - Seriously though, Kathleen Sebelius is the one who really deserves the Nobel Peace Prize for teaching us all how to sneeze correctly. I used to think my farts were sneezes, boy was I confused.

David – That’s Alex’s Illinois education shining through again. Speaking of an Illinois education, we haven’t broached Helmet Hair yet…

Alex – Helmet Hair?

David – I’m sorry Alex, maybe you were unaware of a certain controversy in your home state. Governor Rod Blagojevich was impeached at the beginning of 2009 under the allegation that he sold former Senator Barack Obama’s congressional seat.

Goose - AND YET… he still garnered a book deal! Everyone wrote books this year! Helmet Hair, Mike Huckabee, Sarah Palin, Carrie Prejean, Andre Agassi…

Does anyone even read books anymore?

Alex – Nope, they’re too busy giving their snarky commentary on pseudo-political, pseudo-legitimate blogs.

I actually did read Don’t Waste Your Life by John Piper this year and now I feel bad about watching television no matter what I’m watching, even if it’s Christian television, like Joel Osteen or Desperate Housewives.

Goose – And who says Conservatives are narrow minded…

Alex – I’m just trying to embrace multiple worldviews, you know, coexist and such…

Then again, that sort of anything goes, Laissez-faire attitude is what caused our current economical woes, thanks a lot Dubya.

David – And now we get to the heart of the matter: Dubya redux. Politically, socially and economically, 2009 was the year of people blaming the previous administration for everything that followed it. Why can’t Obama get anything done? He’s cleaning up the Bush mess. Why can’t Wall Street right itself? Too much free-market legislation in the previous two decades. Why can’t Hillary Clinton look like an attractive woman? Aging that occurred DURING THE BUSH ADMINISTRATION.

And so on.

Goose – Hohohoho… Aging that occurred during… that was good stuff…

Hmmm. President Obama might want to look more northeast to seek the true source of the year’s ills. The Evil Empire is on the march once again. The New York Yankees purchased another World Series in 2009. Bleh.

David – Umm… Tiger Woods has been in the news lately. He didn’t win a major championship this year. Which makes sense: it’s tough to beat the field when you’re playing it! (Jay Leno-like head bobble)...

Goose – If I was married to Elin Nordegren I wouldn’t have gone on the prowl that way.

I do think it’s time for us to declare our favorite happenings of the year…

For me it’s a tie between the Minnesota Twins win in Game 163 of the MLB season & Al Gore reading aloud his climate change poem on Harry Smith’s CBS program.

Alex – The Blink-182 reunion and subsequent reunion tour. A lot of old bands got back together this year; nostalgia was the new black. It’s probably because people really miss the days of Dubya.

David – From a sports perspective, the University of North Carolina men’s basketball team winning the national championship made me jump up and down unlike the Baptist that I am. From a cultural perspective, anything R Kelly does is the highlight of my American life.

A Very Merry Christmas & Happy New Year! May your holidays be filled with a general sense of well being.