Wishing a Democrat a Pleasant Winter Holiday

To All My Democrat Friends:

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2010 , but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere. Also, this wish is made without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.

To My Republican Friends:

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!

Here’s wishing we could claim this as ours, but it’s actually an email forward that’s been going around with multiple claimant authors. Thanks to GooseRadio Facebook Friend Andrew for bringing it to our attention.happy-holidays


  1. says

    Well to be fair, holidays is a shortening of the term “holy days,” so really they can’t say that either. They also can’t say X-mas, because the greek letter X is chi or the first letter in Christ’s name. Also they cannot say happy, because some people don’t like to be happy. They are much happier being unhappy. They should rather say something to this effect: “Have a nice day.”

    Seeing as green and red are also Christmas colors, they should change all their decorations to be different shades of gray, so that they don’t alienate or offend anyone.

    Well now it’s time to go read The Giver and dream about Democratic utopias…

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