In preparation for his widely anticipated run for The White House this year, Wisconsin governor Scott Walker penned a book called Unintimidated: A Governor’s Story and a Nation’s Challenge. In it, he penned a chapter full of particularly pointed criticism toward the Romney / Ryan 2012 campaign.
Governor Walker said that Governor Mitt Romney had misread the message of his re-election win in Wisconsin, and indeed that he had misread the lessons of Ronald Reagan’s election victory against incumbent President Jimmy Carter in 1980. Walker went on to explain what the correct lessons were & how a bold, reforming Conservative could implement them to take back the White House for the elephants.
Yesterday, Governor Walker suspended his campaign a hearty 2 months after he began it. He received zero votes for President of the United States. Governor Romney received 61 million. Perhaps Walker didn’t read his own book.
How does a man who achieved so much by way of implementing Conservative solutions to problems on the ground in the states get shown the door so quickly?
How does the two term Republican governor of a blue state be the second person to exit the contest, while the front runner remains a reality television star who’s donated tens of thousands to elect Hillary Clinton to high office?
These are questions with that must have very mysterious answers.
So instead of going down that probably-painful road right now – here are five things that went south faster than the 2016 presidential aspirations of Governor Scott Walker.
#5 – Miley Cyrus
This beloved child star…
Became this individual…
And it all seemed to take place in a matter of weeks.
Scott Walker did just fine by comparison.
#4 – Tim Pawlenty 2012
In contrast to some of the more esoteric parallels we’re offering, here’s the one you’ll likely also see elsewhere.
Governor Tim Pawlenty entered the 2012 GOP Presidential contest in March 0f 2011 with oodles of promise. Despite not possessing a great deal of national fame, T-Paw had served as governor of a blue state for two terms, and had amassed real accomplishments in Minnesota. He was seen as a natural, establishment rival to Governor Mitt Romney.
Yet, this good man struggled to deploy any pizzazz that could serve to distinguish himself from the rest of a diverse pack, and encountered a rather weird downfall on a debate stage in New Hampshire.
In a June debate, CNN attempted to provoke a fight between Pawlenty & Romney over the former’s recent coining of the term “Obamneycare” in an attempt to weave together the health care efforts of Governor Romney and President Obama.
It was a strange beginning of the end for Pawlenty, who would drop out two months later after a disappointing third place finish in the now-defunct Iowa Straw Poll.
I feel like John King with his incessant hemming and hawing played a big role in befuddling the straight laced Pawlenty right here. What’s more, T-Paw does reiterate his contention about Romney’s plan being similar to Obama’s, and he uses the term “Obamneycare” again to boot.
I’m not totally clear on what John King wanted from Tim Pawlenty right there. Maybe he wasn’t going to give up until the Minnesotan lunged after the Massachusetts Governor right then and there. It would probably have been great ratings after all.
In any case, the downfall of T-Paw – based on the contours of both races – was indeed a matter that went south more quickly than Scott Walker.
#3 – The Tea Act of 1773
For some reason, Britain’s East India Company had eighteen million pounds of tea just sitting around in the early 1770s. So Parliament decided it was time to sell that tea to North Americans at incredibly cheap prices. Normally, this does not the stuff of revolutions make.
Outspoken colonial leaders, however, believed the act to be a ploy to make the colonies more accepting of parliaments earlier efforts to collect taxes and duties from North America. They also believed that the English tea barons would somehow put colonial merchants out of business.
So it was that in December of 1773, a band of colonists dressed as Native Americans swooped onto the decks of a tea-laden vessel & began the festive destruction of British beverages that would come to be known as The Boston Tea Party. And The Tea Act went south even faster than Scott Walker.
#2 – The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies
How do you take one of history’s most beloved books and turn it into one the most disappointing films of recent times?
First – splice one rollicking volume into three feature length movies. Like spreading butter over too much bread if you will.
Then, make up characters and story lines out of thin air because you need to fill three movies worth of time. Additionally, make said story lines and characters as compelling as a Lindsay Lohan album. Make Evangeline Lilly & the elf who rides a moose have a singularly ridiculous conversation about love.
There were so many things that should have saved this movie! It was about the blockbuster realm of Middle Earth. Peter Jackson – who had so successfully brought to life the first Lord of the Rings trilogy to the screen – was back at the helm, and some of the best actors in the world were doing their thing.
Gandalf was still throwing truth bombs for Pete’s sake.
Yet, in the end, it all wasn’t enough. Five Armies went south faster than Scott Walker for President.
#1 – The Maginot Line
After World War I & the Franco Prussian War before it, the French were just about sick of Germans streaming into France at the drop of a hat. So they decided to put a resounding stop to it by building the most sophisticated wall the world had have ever seen. Even Donald Trump would have been in awe of this thing.
The Maginot Line was a series of massive fortresses, walls, and gun placements constructed by France starting in 1929. It featured a sprawling underground superstructure complete with a railway to move men and supplies wherever they were needed. There were comfortable living spaces for soldiers, kitchens to keep everyone fed, and even air conditioning.
This baby was intense. Understandably, the French believed it be impenetrable.
Unfortunately, the new German administration in the late 1930s was rather unconventional.
Faced with this wall, Fuhrer Adolf Hitler decided to violate the internationally guaranteed neutrality of Belgium & Luxembourg, swinging his war machine north and clear around the imposing Maginot Line.
Things went south very quickly. Much more quickly – in fact – than did the Scott Walker campaign.