7:02 Central Daylight Time – The President of the United States strides up to the podium. His tie reminds me of a hearty wild berry pie… framed around someone’s neck. And look at the lighting mechanisms to either side of him! It’s like an angelic corona.

The beginning announcement – The President has pulled our economy back from the brink! From the brink of 8% unemployment to the brink of 10% employment! This man went to Harvard!

7:03 – Aha – he just explained what he meant by improving the economy. We have taken funds from people who have been too successful. How dare those buzzards. 7:04 – His eyes look very moist. I wonder if Joe Biden said something emotionally taxing.

7:06 – “I’ve also pledged that health insurance reform will not add to our deficit.”

*chortling*