It’s time to think some deep thoughts. Time Magazine revealed it’s 100 Most Influential People Issue this week. We wonder in what state our world is, whenfolks like Lady Gaga, Conan O’Brien and Bill Clinton are wielding the most influence. Britain’s parliamentary election is this week. What would King Arthur have to say about the voters choices? Joe Mauer’s foot is injured and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad was inanely blasting The West at the UN on Monday.
I’ve read precisely 6 pages of the new and explosive book Game Change, and already it has more than paid for itself in sheer political mirth. It is unfortunate that Senator McCain did not have this book during the campaign in ’08. If he had, he could have centered his entire campaign around the assessment of one Barack Obama given on the eve of Iowa’s Caucus and detailed on pages 5 and 6.
The ones offering said assessment? Bill and Hillary Clinton.
But mostly Bill was enraged with the media, which he believed had brutalized his wife while treating Obama with kid gloves. This is bull****, he said. The guy’s a phony. He has no experience, he has no record; he’s not nearly ready to be commander in chief.
“He’s a United States senator,” Hillary snapped. ‘That’s nothing to laugh at.’
He’s only been in the Senate three years and he’s been running the whole time for president, Bill replied. “What has he really done?’
‘We have to be real here – people think of that as experience,’ Hillary said.
2009 has been quite a year. Influenza terror, beauty pageant queens becoming national icons, and the day the world stood still while we thought a tiny and curiously named boy was flying hundreds of feet over Colorado in a balloon. In order to really ponder all the political, cultural, and sporting headlines from the year, David Gregory, and Goose Nissley join me to examine the highlights of the year that was.
Well, how can we not start this off by discussing our new Comrade, excuse me, Commander-In-Chief, Barack H. Obama? For me, the best part of his presidency so far is that it’s produced this SNL skit…
Goose Nissley – President Obama was definitely the big story this year (however slightly his lead is over balloon boy). How often does a guy buy General Motors, provide an entire nation with health care, win the Nobel Peace Prize, and appear on a promo for George Lopez Tonight… ALL IN ONE YEAR?!
Alex – Plus, he got the approval evangelicals via Rick Warren, Donald Miller and the always um, relevant, Relevant Magazine, all while letting the rest of the world know that we’re not a Christian nation. Win!
David Gregory – Obama ruled 2008, but 2009 is the year of Carrie Prejean. Who else can claim to have represented an entire voter base, committed actions to alienate it, and subsequently kept its support simply because of her heaving platforms? She is the epitome of the media world we live in: one sentence can make you, one sex tape can break you (or as I like to call this, the reverse Paris Hilton).
Alex – Whoa, easy, David. Goose considers Miss Prejean a shining example of moral excellence for her stance against gay marrige in the face of that great mental giant, Perez Hilton.
Goose – SAY IT AIN’T SO CARRIE! You really wanted to cheer for her / date her, especially since she was being lampooned by that unpleasant Hilton dude. There is no joy in Mudville tonight.
Well you know what else was interesting… Swi… Iii mean H1N1 flu. For months, everyone was told that we were all going to do die. Then, suddenly, absolutely nothing happened…
Alex- I actually had it twice and died twice.
David – Yeah, the Swine Flu was so media driven and ultimately unsuccessful, I thought the United States was going to elect it.
Alex - Seriously though, Kathleen Sebelius is the one who really deserves the Nobel Peace Prize for teaching us all how to sneeze correctly. I used to think my farts were sneezes, boy was I confused.
David – That’s Alex’s Illinois education shining through again. Speaking of an Illinois education, we haven’t broached Helmet Hair yet…
Alex – Helmet Hair?
David – I’m sorry Alex, maybe you were unaware of a certain controversy in your home state. Governor Rod Blagojevich was impeached at the beginning of 2009 under the allegation that he sold former Senator Barack Obama’s congressional seat.
Goose - AND YET… he still garnered a book deal! Everyone wrote books this year! Helmet Hair, Mike Huckabee, Sarah Palin, Carrie Prejean, Andre Agassi…
Does anyone even read books anymore?
Alex – Nope, they’re too busy giving their snarky commentary on pseudo-political, pseudo-legitimate blogs.
I actually did read Don’t Waste Your Life by John Piper this year and now I feel bad about watching television no matter what I’m watching, even if it’s Christian television, like Joel Osteen or Desperate Housewives.
Goose – And who says Conservatives are narrow minded…
Alex – I’m just trying to embrace multiple worldviews, you know, coexist and such…
Then again, that sort of anything goes, Laissez-faire attitude is what caused our current economical woes, thanks a lot Dubya.
David – And now we get to the heart of the matter: Dubya redux. Politically, socially and economically, 2009 was the year of people blaming the previous administration for everything that followed it. Why can’t Obama get anything done? He’s cleaning up the Bush mess. Why can’t Wall Street right itself? Too much free-market legislation in the previous two decades. Why can’t Hillary Clinton look like an attractive woman? Aging that occurred DURING THE BUSH ADMINISTRATION.
And so on.
Goose – Hohohoho… Aging that occurred during… that was good stuff…
Hmmm. President Obama might want to look more northeast to seek the true source of the year’s ills. The Evil Empire is on the march once again. The New York Yankees purchased another World Series in 2009. Bleh.
David – Umm…Tiger Woods has been in the news lately. He didn’t win a major championship this year. Which makes sense: it’s tough to beat the field when you’re playing it! (Jay Leno-like head bobble)...
Goose – If I was married to Elin Nordegren I wouldn’t have gone on the prowl that way.
I do think it’s time for us to declare our favorite happenings of the year…
For me it’s a tie between the Minnesota Twins win in Game 163 of the MLB season & Al Gore reading aloud his climate change poem on Harry Smith’s CBS program.
Alex – The Blink-182 reunion and subsequent reunion tour. A lot of old bands got back together this year; nostalgia was the new black. It’s probably because people really miss the days of Dubya.
David – From a sports perspective, the University of North Carolina men’s basketball team winning the national championship made me jump up and down unlike the Baptist that I am. From a cultural perspective, anything R Kelly does is the highlight of my American life.
A Very Merry Christmas & Happy New Year! May your holidays be filled with a general sense of well being.
7:49 PM – FoxNews is flipped on, I seat myself on my couch and brace myself for the State of the Nation according to Barack Obama (who will often be hereafter referred to as The Child) Brit Hume is here and that guy is delightful…
7:50 – John Kerry is here… how did that guy ever get nominated for president? Howard dean would have been so much more enjoyable.
7:59 – Nancy Pelosi and Joe Biden kicking it on the top tier of our governmental life. Oh the glee.
8:03 – The Fox anchor dude just spoke of senators retrieving The Child… like he was some sort of baggage.
8:05 – Nope, that pink creature is not the Pink Panther… that is Hillary Rodham Clinton… holy biscuits she is the Secretary of State… that is inspiring… no, no it’s not.
Some cries today from the McCaniacs! They say His Royal Highness, The Child Barack H. Obama‘s recently announced plan to buy up bad mortages in an attempt to stabalize the pyrotechnic economy was stolen from the Old Warrior himself. FoxNews has a write up detailing the controversy. McCain’s former economic guru – something called Douglas Holtz Eakin – says it looks an awful lot like what the Big Mac “campaigned for a long time” on. *Notably the article also contains McCain’s comment at the time of his proposal that he was following in the footsteps of Hillary Clinton… who in their right mind would want to claim such a thing*
But McCain didn’t campaign on it for a long time at all as alleged in the write up. He busted out the proposal in the second to last debate with The Child, and had Conservatives scratching their heads and wondering if the old warrior had finally lost it. This is particularly plausible given the fact that the plan of Democrat President Obama actually is cheaper than the one McCain proposed. Although, it hard to say by how much because it’s a cornucopia that could cost as “little” as 75 billion and as much as 275 billion. Aren’t these numbers just surreal at this point?
While the story rightly quotes McCain from during the campaign as declaring Obama and lefties all oer partially responsible for the whole shabang of the economic debacle by frantically pushing for the expansion and foolish policies of Freddy and Fanny, McCain’s idea to travel wholesale down the road of government intervention – litterally declaring he’d tell the treasury secretary to, “Immediately buy up the bad home loan mortgages in America and renegotiate at the new value of those homes…” seemed loony then. It even looks more loony know that we know he wanted to spend billions more than Obama. You really ought not try to outspend a Democrat. That battle is guaranteed to be a defeat.
Did you know the French still have colonies in the Caribbean Sea?! Well they do! And apparently they’re mad about something! The French are sending in the troops. This, on the heels of last week’s episode of a French nuclear submarine bumping into one of its British counterparts might make you think that the French are looking bad these days. My sense though is that Paris is pleased just to be discussed at this point. Come on – when an opportunity to tease France is presented it cannot be turned away without accepting with glee!
I think this might be the story to watch with a keen eye. Or two eyes as often as you can spare them as Gandalf the Gray might intone. CNN reports tonight that Obama met with top foreign policy and military gurus to ask that they devise a plan for a military drawdown in Iraq. Vice President Joseph the Deleware-an was present as well. I’ll bet that made everyone very calm. He has a great deal of foreign policy experience. Too much sarcasm? Ya, you’re probably right.
The Child had promised to do this in campaign speeches, sort of a neat line of dramatic rhetoric. Possibly also a countermeasure to Lady Hillary’s ‘ready on day 1′ themes. But in campaign season he promised ad-infinitum to remove any and all US forces from the Middle Eastern nation within 16 months. Today, the report from team Obama was that the new Cheif had asked for, “…A responsible military draw down in Iraq.” Do you notice that nowhere in this sentence is there any mention of a 16 month guarantee? Ya. I noticed that too.
That’s not saying he will not eventually do so, but drawing attention to the possibility that he may be paving the way to flub on that commitment. I think its rather ‘responsible’ to note the lackage of the 16 months in the release. The Reuters news wire reports the story and forgets to mention this point. I’m shocked guys. Really. *If you think that was funny you are an undoubtedly smart and good looking person* The AP release actually mentions this! Go AP! Gold star.
By the way, is it wise to let our troops go home? Oh absolutely… considering much of the tough and deadly work of securing the country is done and Iraqi solidiers are closer and closer to being ready to defned their own country. But this also has been the policy of President Bush for years. Oui. But dress the buzzard up in new wrapping and suddenly he looks like a swan. A swan with some occasional hypocrisy issues. When you think of it this way, you start to realize that Obama was actually putting foward a policy on Iraq that was almost identical to George W. Bush’s when it comes to the removal of troops. Then you sit back in your chair and say ‘wow, that’s somewhat emotional’.
The old inaugural verbiage snafu from yesterday was amended today when the, we can only imagine chagrined, Chief Justice John Roberts sallied forth to The Child’s new digs at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue and “re-administered” the oath of office with the words placed as they were in the constitution. Obama’s hordes are doing a good job of playing it, saying that ‘of course’ the oath given at the innagural was efficacious and binding – they’re just being ultra-cautious. It’s actually probably a good idea, but at the same time it brings up a compelling thought. If The Child wasn’t President legally until tonight… who was President this morning? Yay constitution.
Meanwhile, John McCain spent the day further endearing himself to me. He was leading the charge for Hillary Clinton’s confirmation as secretary of state. Beautiful. Worst Republican nominee in…
BBC reporting Obama says its time to set a new tone in our relations with the Muslim world. I hope Osama Bin Ladin, Hamas, and Hezbollah get the memo. (And no, I don’t think all Muslim’s are terrorists. I think OBL, Hamas & Hezbollah are terrorists. Yay political correctness.)
I think that about sums it up this evening. Still planning on busting forth with an audio version of TWG yet this week. There was also a tiny window last night when the site was down for maintenance. Many and hearty apologies if you attenpted to find us during that time!
R&B star Rihanna is freezing cold because she has decided not to bother with clothes. Miley Cyrus is getting a Porsche for Christmas. The Twins re-sign Nick Punto. I free style rap, and Obama now wants to leave troops in Iraq past the time he said he would pull them out. We share the super story behind Longfellow’s poem that became the classic, “I heard the Bells on Christmas Day.