With our country at a financial and medical crossroads, what better barometer than an award show that features surfboards as prizes? With that in mind, I sat down with chicken, rice and a giant bottle of Dr. Pepper to document the goings-on of America’s future at the 2009 Teen Choice Awards.

Jonas Brothers Concert7:00 PM – TCA Hosts Jonas Brothers “interview” President Barack Obama at a press conference. The producers are using Obama to open a show pointed toward teens. But don’t worry, he’s not a celebrity.

7:01 – The announcer boasts TCA as the “hottest party of the summer.” Well, we knew it wasn’t the GOP.

7:03 – A Youtube sensation named Fred is introduced. I didn’t think you could do the one-name moniker unless you’re a Brazilian soccer star. 7:04 – JoBros open the festivities by performing their latest song – not cool.