Kate Upton is single.
Now that’s what she said anyway. Rumors continue to fly, but basically the situation is murky enough that – in all reality – you now possess just as good a chance as any other human male to develop and nurture a romance with Kate Upton.
Well. C’mon. Let’s just go with it.
Interestingly enough, it is the position of this website that you would want to have a long discussion with yourself before taking this path. Let”s be honest, the young lady basically gets photographed in her underwear for a living.
That may not betoken the type of character you might seek from your future wife.
So – with that made clear – in our effort to fulfill the “information” portion of our mission to relentlessly provide you with Entertainment, Information, and a General Sense of Well Being, here are the five easy steps to dating Kate Upton…
#5 – Have a beard
#4 – Take up a sport. You don’t have to be that good.
The aforementioned gentlemen are each noted professional sportsmen. But while Verlander is a Cy Young & MVP award winning pitcher for the Detroit Tigers, Sanchez was one of the worst quarterbacks in the land last year. His greatest contribution to the league last year seemed to be inducing fans to ad infinitum wonderment as to why Tim Tebow wasn”t in the game. Yet, Kate dated him. So there”s that.
Incidentally, now that she has said farewell to Mr. Verlander, its very possible that Miss Upton is now open to lower level sporting achievers. So if you can like… horseshoe well… that”s probably enough now.
#3 – Be Quiet
She has declared that she has trouble being “reserved”. We take the available preponderance of evidence to mean that she really likes to talk. We suggest that, when you find herself in her presence, just listen to her… smile… and nod when appropriate. If there is a lull in her monologue, ask a really intelligent question about something she just got done talking about. You”re welcome.
#2 – Start Planning Stuff
She”s indicated that she is a spontaneous individual who is prone to bouts of whimsy. Thus, if you can display to her the ability to help her plan her day, she”s clearly going to date you.
#1 – Be Nice to a Horse
Kate is friends with horses. Well we can”t really prove that I guess, but she”s sure spent a lot of time with them. In fact, she was a world grand champion in equestrian. Apparently she really appreciates Paint horses… so probably be nice to a Paint horse.
And there you go.
We”ve given you the knowledge we have obtained as to how you can successfully date Kate Upton. That said, let”s just take a moment and remember that you probably ought not date Kate Upton. The beautiful young lady essentially removes most of her clothing on a daily basis and has herself photographed. That”s probably not a great future for your future wife. Food for thought guys. Food for thought.
Images via AOL, Huffington Post & Youtube